Boys are Bees and Girls are Birds
by Colhan3000
Summary: After not doing a good job the first time King Vegeta and Bardock must repeat every parents nightmare, they have to give their sons Vegeta and Goku The Talk![AU]


I just had to do this, forgive me if this fiction in anyway looks or sounds perverted.

**_I do not own DBZ, However I do own Queen Zonly and Luna since they are characters I made up to take the places of Vegeta and Goku's mothers._**

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**A joke in this story is from Oro Princess's fiction Boy meets dad so give her the credit for it, if you're a Ruruoni Kenshin fan you should read the fiction.**

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**Boys are Bees and Girls are Birds**

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Queen Zonly looked up from her cooking to glance out the window; it was a warm and breezy summer day, clear blue skies with fluffy clouds added to the scenery bellow which was the palaces court yard carpeted with newly grown grass. Zonly's flower garden of Marigolds and Zinnia's would soon be planted as they did every year around this time, even her friend Luna would be planting her yearly summer garden of flowers. Zonly moved her eyes over to the hill in the distance; since it was summer there was no school, and her eight year old son Vegeta and his seven year old friend Kakarrot who was Luna's youngest son, had run out first thing that morning to do what they did every first day of summer after the last day of school, run down to the waterfall and swim. The area of the waterfall was great for swimming in during the summer; the water in the pond was being fed by the snow that was melting off the rocks above, that made it a comfortable place for swimming during hot weather.

Zonly just hoped no one walked in on them; the reason to that was that the two boys had no modesty at all when it came to running around naked, for Saiyan's that was very normal. Saiyan's looked at it as being natural; you weren't born with cloths on so why wear them? However the humans didn't all see it that way, but they were just little boys after all; it wasn't like they were seventeen or anything. Zonly picked up the plate full of chopped vegetables and added them to the Miso soup she was making for dinner; she then grabbed the bag of rice and scooped some out and into the pot, filling it with water she placed it on the stove to cook with the soup. She looked at the clock; it was still early she could wait to start making the sushi; after all she was very fast at making it. She sat down at the kitchen table and picked up the book she had been reading for the past few days; the boys wouldn't be back until dark which would be when they smelled dinner, they had run out without eating breakfast after all.

Right when she was getting into her book she heard yelling outside the palace; the voices being Vegeta and Kakarrot, Vegeta sounded angry and Kakarrot sounding confused. She got up and looked out the window; she saw Vegeta and Kakarrot standing at the front door clothed in nothing but white towels, next to them were a blushing Chi Chi and Bulma. The girls ran off while Vegeta opened the door and walked into the house; whatever it was it was the girls that had upset the boys, they would go off to pick flowers until they cooled down, well…until Vegeta cooled down that is. Zonly heard her son stomping into the kitchen with Kakarrot in tow behind him as always, she wondered if they ever spent any time away from the other. She watched her son walk into the kitchen and over to the fridge and grabbed an apple, then walked over to the table and sat down to eat it. Kakarrot sat down across from him looking at his hands.

"Have fun swimming?" Zonly asked and saw the two boys wince "What happened?" Zonly said pouring them each a glass of lemonade.

"Nothing!" both of them said quickly, too quickly then normal which was a sign that something did happen.

"Alright, what's up?" Zonly said putting her hands on her hips, a sign to the boys to just tell her what happened.

She watched both boys look at one another before once again turning their gaze to her; she heard Kakarrot sigh and the youngest spoke "Bulma and Chi Chi went swimming in the lake…" Kakarrot said fiddling with his fingers.

"So? What's wrong with that?" Zonly asked hoping that the boys had on their underwear at least at the time.

"Um…I went to get my towel and found them changing into their bathing suits in the bushes" Kakarrot said sinking further into his chair.

"Mom, they looked different" Vegeta said "Different…down there…" he finished thinking that this event would get him grounded for the second time this month.

Zonly shook her head and laughed "Of course they did, Bulma and Chi Chi are girls" Zonly explained crossing her arms.

"What does them being girls have anything to do with it?" Vegeta asked.

Zonly raised an eyebrow at her son, didn't there fathers give them "The Talk" like she and Luna told them? Here was proof that her husband along with her friends husband didn't do their jobs, her husband had always had one rule when it came to their son and Bardock had agreed with him: Fathers give their sons the talk and mothers give their daughters the talk, that was the rule that her husband the King of Saiyan's had made to that part of little Vegeta's up bringing. Deciding to test if her husband and the Captain's work on the subject she asked them a question very simply. "Vegeta and Kakarrot, you know when me and Kakarrot's mom had asked your fathers to give you a talk?" Zonly asked and watched them nodded their heads "What did they tell you?"

She watched both boys sit and begin to think then Kakarrot spoke up "They said women are older versions of girls" he said.

Vegeta then spoke "Dad told me that girls are birds and boys were bees and to figure it out myself from there"

Zonly could feel a vein pulsing on her forehead; the two men had only told them the stuff they know normally, and her husband had only told Vegeta to figure it out himself with a play of worlds of the Birds and Bee's title for the talk.

"**_VEGETA, BARDOCK, LUNA ALL OF YOU GET DOWN HERE!_**" Zonly yelled causing the boys to jump in their chairs. Zonly went to pour herself a glass of lemonade; her husband had made that rule that he should teach their son this part of life; he had also always told their son that once you start something you have to finish it no matter what. She didn't want her son thinking he could break rules and her husband was going to do just what he had stated to their son: Finish what he started. Kakarrot and Vegeta might one day find girls they really like and they needed to know this stuff, it might hurt them in the future other wise. She watched Luna run into the kitchen in her lab coat, Zonly felt guilty for pulling her friend out of her work in the lab but she had to be here. King Vegeta came in next followed by Bardock which meant that they had been training when she had called them.

"What's wrong Zonly" Luna asked pulling the safety goggles from her eyes.

"Yah what's up? You sounded like a robber came into the palace, and you could beat a robber into a pulp" Bardock said wiping the sweat from his brow.

"Why did you call all of us in here?" the King asked looking at his wife.

Zonly took a sip of her lemonade while glaring at the adult Saiyan men, and then calmly set down her glass. She looked sympathetically at the two boys seated at the table who probably thought they had some how gotten into trouble; she sat down in the center side chair and looked at both men over her hands, which she had raised and laced her fingers together. "Luna, we asked our husbands to do one thing, one of them happened to make a rule out of it" Zonly said looking over at her friend, "They had made it a point to give our sons the talk and they didn't" Zonly said glaring harder at the men.

Luna's deep blue eyes widened then narrowed as she looked at her own husband; she brushed her long thick spiky black hair out of her face, and looked Bardock dead in the eyes. "Bardock can you explain yourself?" Luna asked crossing her arms.

"We told them!" Bardock said getting worried.

"Oh really? Because today they had a little event with the girls and were confused by it, not knowing how they couldn't know since "their fathers" had told them I asked them" Zonly said running her finger around the rim of her glass, "Do you want to know how they answered?" she asked she watched the men get more nervous. "Vegeta said that you told him to figure it out himself after giving him a talk of how men were bees and girls were birds!" Zonly said glaring at her husband. The younger Vegeta looked over at his father wondering who was in trouble; so far his mom had been screaming at his dad, but he had been in the battle simulator all day what did he do? And why was his mom repeating what he had told her? Did he answer wrong?

"Kakarrot had said that women were an older version of a girl, and while that is true that does not detail anything of DIFFRENCE between boys and girls nor does it explain WHY girls and boys are different!" Zonly scolded at Bardock most defiantly saying what Luna was thinking right about now. Now little Kakarrot was confused; first Vegeta's mother was yelling at Mr. Vegeta then she was yelling at his dad, what was all the glaring going on about and why did his and Vegeta's fathers look like they were ready to bolt out of the room. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL THEM ANYTHING!" Zonly finally screamed making the kids jump once again.

Bardock looked at the floor hoping that Luna wouldn't make him sleep on the couch tonight; Vegeta was trying to think of a comeback but failed miserably. Zonly got up off the chair walked over to her son; she smiled to show that it wasn't him she was angry with him and picked him up out of the chair, then walked over to her husband and put their son into his arms "Get into that living room and TELL him, and I mean EVERYTHING Vegeta" Zonly said sternly.

Luna mimicked what her friend did and picked up her youngest child and put the boy into Bardock's arms "That goes for you as well Bardock"

"But…"

"**_MOVE IT!_**"

Both men walked into the living room to get away from their wives; Vegeta rubbed his temples, how what he going to get through this?

"Dad?"

Vegeta looked down at his son.

"Can you put me down? I can walk you know…"

The King put Vegeta down and the boy went to sit down on the sofa, Bardock put Kakarrot down and the boy went to sit down next to the prince. Bardock and Vegeta sat down on the sofa opposite to the one the boys were sitting at; the boys stared at their fathers and their fathers stared right back, Kakarrot coughed and Vegeta cleared his throat and looked at his father "So what is it mom and Luna want you to tell me and Kakarrot?" he asked watching his father and Bardock jump, what was up with them? "Girls Vegeta, they want us to explain girls" the King said putting his hands together.

Bardock cleared his throat deciding to just get the talk started "So, before we talk do you two have any questions?"

Vegeta raised his hand, "Yes Vegeta?"

"Why do girls put pillows under their shirts?" he asked and watched at his father and Bardock fell on their faces to the floor.

"Yah! Why do they do that?" Kakarrot asked.

"Erm…those aren't pillows son" the King said blushing.

"Does it have to do with those things me and Kakarrot found in moms dresser?"

"What things?"

"They looked like sling shots, but I saw girl wearing them on magazines in the store" Vegeta said and wondered why his father was turning so red.

"Is that were they put the pillows?" Kakarrot asked.

"Erm…those aren't pillows…they are…why don't we move on to something else?" The King said.

"Yah something else, other then that what else do you want to know?" Bardock asked calming down a little.

Little Kakarrot raised his hand "Yes Kakarrot?"

"When the girls walked into the pond without any cloths on…they didn't have one eyed monsters, why not?" Kakarrot asked watching as his father and his friends father fell to the floor again.

"Are girls mutated boys?" Vegeta asked.

"Um no erm, you see…boys and grils are different in that area because…" the Bardock was trying to find a way of putting this.

"You know when I told you about boys being bees and girls being birds right?" the King asked his son, Vegeta nodded. "Good then, well you see when a man finds a girl he likes he gets the urge to sting her" Vegeta tilled his head as did Kakarrot at this information. "Now also, girls are sometimes sensitive the first time you sting so you must be gentle understand?" Vegeta and Kakarrot both nodded "Good any questions relating to this?" Vegeta raised his hand "Yes son?"

"Where do we sting?"

That time the king did not remove himself from the floor when he fell, because the proud king along with the Captain fainted dead to the floor.

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Zonly had just gotten done talking with Luna until her son and Kakarrot came walking back into the kitchen, "So? How did it go?" Zonly asked as the boys went over to the sink to get a drink of water, "Dad and Bardock fell on the floor lots of times" Vegeta said drinking his water "And they said that when we meet a girl we like we have to be gentle" Vegeta finished. Zonly sighed knowing that would be the best that she would see from her husband until their son would be old enough to understand on his own fully.

"Well at least you know something further into the subject" Luna said watching the boys walk out of the kitchen.

"Mom?" Vegeta called before leaving the kitchen.

"Yes dear?"

"You don't have to wear those pillows under your shirt you know, I think you look nice with or without them" and with that walked out the door.

Both women looked at each other, then laughed "Pillows? Good Kami what kids think up these days…"

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**Like it? I've been in a real dry zone with jokes and ideas so bear with me, I've been really bored the last few weeks and that dulls my sense of humor.**


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